Who Wants To Be A Millionare RE:style
by super dark link
Summary: RE CAST GOES AND PLAYS YOUR FAVORITE GAME SHOW CHAPTER 4 UP YAY
1. And so it begins

Disclamer: i dont own resident evil...if i did it would ba bloodier. :)

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE RE: STYLE

(Scene opens and Regis Philbin walks to the stage. Crowd cheers)

Regis: ok freaks I'm in charge and you are the losers who sleep with your parents.

Stage man #1: MEANIE (cries) WHY WONT YOU BE FIRED.

Stage man #2: (whispers) yea……..

Regis:( takes out a gun and shoots #1) THAT'S WHY BITCH

(Crowd Gasps):OMG HE KILLED HIM!

Regis: It's a joke ok….. (mumbles) jackasses.

(Show begins)

Regis: Now Heres (flashes) WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE. Ok now introducing our contestants. Hes a blonde and has a medical condition called constipation. It's Leon Kennedy

(Crowd stares)

Leon: hi ladies (wink)

Guys in crowd: BOOOOOOO(throws rocks)

Leon: YOUR JUST JEALOUS.

Guys in crowd: SAY IT TO OUR FACES

Leon: (takes out rocket launcher) DIEEEEE (shoots backwards)

Stage man #2: NOOOOOOO (blows up)

Regis: (mumbles) one less moron to take care of. Ok Leon when did you find out you cant use the washroom.

Leon: SHUT UP (CRIES)

Regis: hahahahah babye

Leon: SHUT UP YOU GAY WHORE.

Regis: YOU BITCH (claps and leon is seated in a electrical chair) SAY THAT AGAIN AND ILL KILL YOU

Leon: (pees in pants) IT'S A MIRICAL (cries)

Regis: (whispers) pansie. Now our next contestant is a slut and actually slept with Jill Valentine….. CLAIRE REDFIELD

Claire: HI GUYS ( throws cards that say…FOR A GOOD TIME CALL CLAIRE AT 1-800-RENTASLUT.)

Regis: (grabs a card and pockets it) Ok settle down….

Guys: WHOOOOOO

Regis: SHUT UP (SHOOTS AIR)

Guys: ……..

Regis: ok Claire how do your comrades fell about you being a slut.

Claire: Oh them…. there ok I think ive slept with all of them except Brad he kept crying about still wanting his virginity.

Regis: ……..probably gay….Ok next he's the brother of a slut……HEY isn't he also your comrade……..

Claire: no…….

Regis: Oh ok…..he's the brother of a slut he's…………

(Window breaks and Albert Wesker jumps in)

Wesker: STEP ASIDE BITCH I'M THE NEW HOST.

Regis: IN YOUR DREAMS JONNY BRAVO

(crowd): OOOOOOOO

Wesker: WHAT….. THAT'S IT I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE BUT NOOOO

Claire/Leon: let the viewers choose if they want REGIS…….

(Regis side of the crowd cheers): YAY!

Claire/Leon: or…..WESKER

(WESKER SIDE OF THE CROWD CHEERS)

TO BE CONTINUED.

To vote put it in your review it will go on for 3 days.


	2. Round 1

DISCLAMER: I DONT OWN ANTHING IN THIS CHAPTER EXCEPT ME.

* * *

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE RE: STYLE

Wesker: YOU ASSHOLE I WILL SHOVE YOUR EYES DOWN YOUR ASS YOU BITCH

Regis: MOMMY craps in his pants

Now as the poor crowd watches in horror we can only give and audio of the first 2 contestant's responses

Leon: does an arm bend that way?

Claire: OMFG IS THAT HIS SPLEEN

Leon: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT COMING OUT OF HIS HIP?

Claire: WHAT IS THAT BROWN STUFF?

Leon: OMG THAT'S HIS SPINE

Wesker tossed what was left of the old manager into the crowd, who then proceeded to scream bloody murder. Finally Wesker got back to the show.

Wesker:( laughs evilly) ok next contestant is an Asian whore

Whose a.k.a is "The Bitch in the Red Dress" Ada Wong.

Ada: WESKER YOUR ALIVEEEEEE (latches on to him)

Wesker: Don't touch me (whispers) here later during commercials

Ada: YAY I GET TO DO SUCKY-SUCKY WITH WESKER WOOT.

Wesker: o.O;

I can't help but feel sorry for the audience for having to hear/watch this show………..screw them.

Wesker: Next she claims to have had an affair with Leon it's the whiny, the bitchy, Ashley Graham

Ashley: OH MY GOD IT'S MY HUSBAN LEON

Claire: FUCK YOU SLUT HE'S MINE

Ashley: OH YEA WELL HAS HE FUCKED YOUR BRAINS OUT?

Claire: YEA BUT MINE STAYED IN YOU BLONDE SLUT

Ashley: OH YEA WELL HE LET ME BLOW HIM OFF

Now the male side of the audience was sitting up straight and had a bottle of corona and a tub of popcorn. Wesker on the other hand was enjoying sucky-sucky from Ada (wow and I thought Claire was a slut.)

Leon: ladies…..ladies there's enough of me to go around

Ashley/Claire: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Leon: ( whimpers and hides)

Wesker: (finished doing his "thing" with Ada) ok gotta do this the hard way( takes out a trumpet) HEHEHE (blows the trumpet loudly in Claire's and Ashley's ears)

Claire: HOLY CRAP IM DEAF

Ashley: I CAN'T HEAR

Wesker ok now he's big ugly and loves stars members it's Nemesis

Nemesis: STARS STARS STARSSSSS STARSSSSSSSS

Wesker: what the hell did you just say

Nemesis: (British accent) Pardon me but I forgot my manners. My name is Rudolfus Agustus Nemesis Blanker.

Wesker:………ok lastly we have tit extraordinaire Jill Valentine.

Jill:( with a grenade launcher in hand) WESKER YOU TRATIOR.

Wesker: calm down Jill did you take your pills?

Jill: FUCK YOU WESKER I WAITED TO LONG FOR THIS

Wesker: WAIT ILL GIVES YOU 300 DOLLARS TO AIM AT SOMEONE ELSE.

Jill: OK (shoots random audience member)

That, my friend is why no one should be an audience member in my stories.

Wesker: (gives her the money) OK now its time for the fastest finger question. Put these RE games in the correct order

RE:1

RE:2

RE:3

RE:4

GO…….(10 seconds later)

Wesker: HOW IN THE HELL COULD NO ONE BUT JILL AND NEMESIS GET IT RIGHT. THEY WERE IN THE RIGHT ORDER ALREADY. ILL EVEN READ THE ORDER OF THE OTHERS

ASHLEY: CHEESE AND LEON (DROOLS)

Leon: RE:4 RE:2 IF IM NOT IN IT THEN IT SUCKES

Claire: LEON LEON LEON LEON

Ada: WESKER + ADA+BED GOOD TIME

Wesker is so mad that we will take a commercial break

_Tired of getting bit by a zombie in the ass?_

_Try zombie be gone. It kills 1.1 bacteria in the infection._

_Buy it today!_

Wesker: ok….im ok….the fastest was……..Leon….

Leon: YAY (jumps onto podium)

Wesker: (to author) it's the correct and fastest on the stupidest

Oh well it's my story AND MY RULES CARE TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE

Wesker: no……ok um…..aha you have 3 life lines now let's play WHO WANTS TO BE A SLUT OR WHORE…oh shit I mean MILLIONARE. OK the 100 Dollar question

Who is the caped crusader is it

a) Batman b) superman

c) Wonder woman d) ice

Leon: um I think it's a

Wesker correct now for 200 dollars

Who made the legend of zelda

A) YOYO B) MEW MEW

C) Shigeru miyamoto D) A CAT

Leon: um ill go with D

Wesker: oh im sorry its wrong so….GET THE HELL OUT YOU WHORE.

Leon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (RUNS)

Ashley/Claire: NOOOOOO

Jill/Nemesis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

There was a loud buzz

Wesker: oh look were out of time PLEASE DON'T COME BACK I WANT TO LIVE AND BE SAINE PLEASE….

* * *

S.D.L: R&R PLEASE 


	3. round 2

Disclamer: i own nothing but me and the bellboy

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE RE: STYLE

Wesker was pissed off…...no…..he was fuming.

Someone thought it was funny and they put pictures of wesker when he was young and was dressed in a clown suit at a strip party all over the arena.

Of course he was going to make the remaining 5 contestants life HELL.

When he walked on stage wesker was greeted by hundreds of laughing fans.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WHORTHLESS BITCHES."

Everyone became dead silent. "WHO THE HELL DID THIS."

"I DID YOU OVERDRAMATIC JONNY BRAVO LOOK-A-LIKE."

Everyone gasped. It had been…….JILL.

"YOU WHORE. WHERE DID YOU GET THESE PICTURES?" Wesker screamed "OH ADA GAVE THEM TO ME." Wesker was silent. "YEA AND FOR 3 BUCKS A POP. THAT WHORE SHOULD BE A BLONDE. HAHAHAHAHAHAH" Jill started to cough.

"Let's get back to the show NOW." Everyone nodded. He was like a pms-ing girl.

"Now for the fastest finger round, put these movies in order that they were made starting with the oldest

Star Wars Episode 1

War of the worlds (new)

Jaws

Saw 2

(5 seconds) "OK the fastest was Claire. Good Job…..NOT." Wesker laughed

"Well see who laughs last you…..you….DAMN." she cried.

"Ok like I GIVE A SHIT now let's play I NEED A NEW SLUT TO SCREW……I MEAN WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE. Question 1

How many movies of star wars are there?"

a) 1 b) http

c) 3 d) 6

"Um….um crap I will use my lifeline ask the audience." She said praying that they weren't stupid.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA she is in for the worst game of her life.

¼ voted for a, ¼ voted for b, ¼ voted for c and ¼ voted for d.

"CHOOSE NOW OR ILL THROW YOU OUT LIKE YOUR BLONDE LITTLE FRIEND" Wesker glared

"HEY IM NOT LITTLE OR BLONDE" Leon cried from the crowd. None paid attention to him.

"OK I chose…………..d." She was sweating so badly that a new sea named Claire was born and jaws popped up and ate his lunch.

"Yes you were right now for 200 dollars.

Complete this saying "Curiosity killed the"……

a) dog b) cat

c) jaws d) you

"Ok I know this……I know this….um………b"

She began to have a seizer.

"Yes you are correct now do you need medical attention cause you're foaming at the mouth." Wesker stared at her.

"OH THAT….no I just had a….um…intimate moment with the camera man" She then waved at him, who then made a gesture with the hand that made the crowd, who were floating on a platform, puke. I feel so bad for them…..so very bad…….my family is in a plane…..so bad….anyway continue NOW.

"Ok don't yell you fat ugly……." DO YOU WANT TO FINISH THAT FUCKING SENTENCE YOU FUCKER?

"no………um…….ok. For 300 dollars

Who is the president of the U.S?

WESKER c) Gorge W. Bush

Dino d) a cat

"Um….well….I know that its not wesker…." She let out a long sigh.

"WHAT I COULD BE PRESIDENT IF I WANTED TO. I COULD RULE THE WORLD HAHAHAHAH." At that moment a bellboy with a package came in and told wesker a horrifying thing.

"Um …..yea this is addressed to an Albert Wesker in studio 5." He looked panicky.

"Give me that." He took the package and there was a note and some Australian clothes. "What the hell………" He decided to read it out loud. It said…..

_Hi honey its your parents. Blimey its bin 34 years since we've seen you. How ya been. Cricy we heard that you don't have our kind of clothes so here they are. Write back _

_Sincerely Mr. and Mrs. Irwin Wesker._

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU'RE AN AUSSI NOW YOU CAN'T BE PRESIDENT." Claire screamed. The whole arena busted up in laughter including jaws. Another reason why reading aloud is bad.

"SHUT UP…….OH MY GOD." He felt humiliated. The other contestants managed to put the clothes on him and he looked like a weird gay Australian.

"STOP I SAID STOP." He tried to take the clothes off but they had glued it on him.

"STOP OR ILL FEED YOU ALL TO MY PET TYRANT." Everyone stopped.

"Claire answer the fucking question in 10 seconds." He looked ready to kill.

"Oh yea um….its….d."

"NO SO…..JAWS KILL HER." The poor shark leaned over and ripped her head off. That was the end of Claire Redfield……I can only hope that the others survive……..NOT BUWHAHAHAHAH.


	4. ROUND 4 AND HE RETURNS

YAY I UPDATED took me long enough ill also update RE adult swim mext so keep reading

Disclamer: ITS THE SAME THING AS LAST TIME IOWN NOTHING BUT THE HAMSTERS AND THE BELLBOY.

* * *

(Camera turns and we can see a dark shadow)

Dark shadow: Ill get my revenge on him and all of them. They will die…….DIE MWHAHAHAHAH

Lisa: REGIS PHILBIN SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU SCRUB THE TOILET AGAIN BECAUSE YOUR FATER HAD ANOTHER PROTIEN BAR.

Regis: YES MUMMY (whispers) ungrateful little (gets smacked by a hamster)

Hamster: I DON'T LIKE YOU. YOU SMELL LIKE CRAP

Regis: (pulls out a handgun and shoots him) SHUT THE FUCK UP

Lisa: WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG MAN

Regis: NOTHING MAMA

Wesker: And were back to another episode of……WHO WAN'T TO BE A MILLIONARE RE STYLE. 2 of our contestants have already been booted off so lets get started with the fastest finger question.

(Weird music plays)

Wesker: put these numbers in numerical order….1…2…4…3...NOW

(All remaining contestants try to put them in order and jeopardy music plays)

Wesker: (takes out killer 7 and shoots the juke box) evil music…ok and the winner of the fastest finger question is……NEMESIS

Nemesis: (walks down and trips causing his weight to make him crash to the lower levels were jaws is.)

Wesker: ouch that had to hurt…..oh well the runner up is Ashley Graham

Ashley: (runs and slips falling into the hole nemesis created) AHHHHHHHH

Wesker: YAY mindless killings are always awesome.

(The bellboy arrives again and gives Wesker a new package)

Wesker: oh crap not again. (Shakes and hears ticking) hmm A BOMB (throws into the hole)

Ashley: YAY a package to help us

(There is a loud explosion and jaws flies right out of the hole and lands on a camera man)

Camera man #7: AHHHH MY SPLEEN

Bellboy: AND KNOW FOR MY TRUE IDENTITY (rips costume off to reveal Regis Philbin in Ada's RE4 outfit)

Jill: AHHHH MY EYES

(Audience screams because of the fact that the dress is too tight revealing everything)

Wesker: (covering his eyes) CHANGE INTO SOMETHING ELSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Regis: BUT I LOOK SEXY

Everyone but Regis: NO YOU DON'T

Regis: FINE (changes into normal costume) There now were was I….oh yes DIE WESKER (pulls out a knife when all of a sudden it's shot out of his hand by a hamster with a gun)

Jill: Its soooo cute….but oh soooo deadly.

Hamster woman: YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND AND NOW ILL GET MY REVENGE (Shoots Regis in the balls)

Regis: AHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD I CANT FEEL MY BALLS AHHHHH (falls into the hole)

Hamster woman: NOW DIE (throws grenade into the hole and patches it up). Hee hee hee

(Pulls out Ada's grappling gun and aims it to the ceiling) SO LONG PEOPLE (shoots and flies upwards and crashes into the ceiling) OWWWW

Wesker: MY GOD IM GOING CRAZY SOMEONE HELP

Hello wesker how are you doing today?

Wesker: Oh god not you please just leave

FINE ACT LIKE A BITCH (leaves as the hamster woman falls and hits wesker on the head)

Wesker: (wobbles and falls to the ground)

Well be right back after these messages…….

_Random man #1: Tired of having to find ammo to reload your gun_

_Random man #2: Well now that won't be a problem with the new ROCKET LAUNCHER_

_Random man #1: It's fueled by farts so when you have to kill let one rip_

_Random man #2: (farts) uh oh_

_(Rocket launcher fires and blows them both up)_

(Back to the show)

Wesker: (has a bandage on his head) ok were back so the 3rd runner up is…….ADA

Ada: (flies toward wesker and sits happily on the chair) YAY Im so smart for an average Asian person.

Wesker: Whatever now to the first question for100 dollars

Who wrote the book "Death your average fairy tail."

A)Wesker B) A bush

C) A dog D) The author

Ada: ummmmm ill choose A

Wesker: Correct I wrote that book when I was 5. Next question for 200

Finish this sentence "leggo my" What?

A) Dog B).waffle

C)Eggo D) kitten

Ada: ummmmm I choose……..C

Wesker: Correct wow Ada you're actually smarter then I expected next question…..

(There's a loud scream by an audience member)

Audience member: HE'S ALIVE (gasps and points to Regis Philbin walking up the stairs with a fart rocket launcher)

Regis: BEFORE I DIE ILL KILL YOU WESKER (drops rocket launcher) whoops

(Author farts and Regis explodes)

Whoops hee hee hee

Wesker: wow more mindless deaths this can't get any better can it? Anyways NEXT FUCKING QUESTION NOW. I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE

(Injects wesker with some medicine) SHUT UP

Wesker: oooooooo question and my ass hurts

Who just died

A) Regis B)Regis

C)Regis D) DIGIKO

Ada: ummmmm I choose…….D

Wesker: oh sorry you are the weakest link goodbye (pulls a lever and Ada falls into a hole) BYE BYE HAHAHAHAHA THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS COME BACK NEXT TIME……..I MEAN DON'T PLEASE DON'T (runs away to cry)

Jill: YAY I GET A LINE what did you inject him with anyway

MEH probably just liquid crack (throws bottle)

Jill: (runs and looks at label and laughs) YOU INJECTED HIM WITH HAPPY PILLS IN LIQUID FORM HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA.

Oh well hell probably just throw it up…..

(Wesker runs around the set naked)

Or not……

* * *

Im going to add 1 extra character so pick one and put it in your review. it can be anyone from the RE universe R&R PLEASE


	5. TEH END?

Hi peoples this is the FINAL CHAPTER with a special guest Evil Fang...Enjoy

* * *

(Wesker and a show producer are backstage. 3 poke balls are visible in front of them)

Wesker: What the hell are we doing?

Producer: We have been tipped of that someone may try to kill you so here is your protection

Wesker: A FUCKING BALL….WHAT? AM I SUPPOSED TO THROW IT AT THEM?

Producer: No throw it at the floor

Wesker: Why?

Producer: JUST CHOOSE NOW

Wesker: (randomly grabs a poke ball and runs away)

Wesker: WELCOME BACK TO W.W.T.B.A.M. RE STYLE

Im bored

Wesker: SO

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME

Wesker:……….. Anyway where down to ONE FREAKING PERSON THANK GOD

Uhh…..Wesker

Wesker: IT'S OVER ….OVER MWHAHAHAHAHA

WESKER GOD DAMN IT'S NOT OVER…we have one special guest….

Wesker: ……..who?

SALAZAR from re4

Wesker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wait where is he?

Salazar:(is behind the podium) OVER HERE. DAMN PODIUM IS TOO TALL. SOMEONE FETCH ME A COUPLE OF YELLOW PAGES AND A PINA COLADA

Wesker: This isn't you is house you midget.

Salazar: HEY IM NOT SMALL

Umm yes you are

Salazar: AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU HUH. A GOD DAMN TELLITUBBY

Wesker: Ooooooo big mistake

WHO IN THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST CALL A TELLITUBBY YOU WHORE. WESKER IF YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU YOU'LL THROW THE POKEBALL AT HIM NOW.

Wesker: (o.O) ok…… (throws poke ball and out comes….)

Audience and Jill: GASP IT'S…..ITS….ITS EVIL FANG

Evil Fang: (Pulls out a bazooka) Say hello to my little friend bitch

Salazar: VERTIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(Vertigo pops up and slices bazooka in half)

Salazar: Kill him and wesker NOW

(Vertigo pimp slaps Evil Fang and knocks him out. Then he makes his way toward wesker)

Wesker: (Screams like a little girl and runs toward the remaining poke balls) I CHOOSE YOU LADY DEATHSTRIKE

(Lady Deathstrike comes out of poke ball and falls to the ground)

Vertigo: (in a Mexican accent) Oh shit she's dead…..oh well

Wesker: (Panicky) LAST POKE BALL GO

Producer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wesker: What?

Producer: WHATS IN THAT BALL CAN KILL US ALL

Wesker: Oh ok (Drops ball and it opens) Whoops it slipped.

(The ball opens and out comes Samus Aran)

Vertigo: HAHAHAHA A ROBOT YOU SUCK HAHAHAHA

(Vertigo explodes as he is hit by a rocket)

Samus: (Turns toward audience and fires a rocket killing half of them)

Audience: AHHHHHHHHH HOMICIDAL KILLER

Salazar: This bitch can kill me HAHAHAHAHAHA

Samus: (Turns toward wesker and fires a charged plasma beam at his hair)

Wesker: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY HAIR. MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR

Salazar: ………OH SHIT (RUNS)

Samus: (aims and is about to fire a rocket when her suit turns off)

Evil Fang: There's an off switch here.

Samus: GOD DAMN I TOLD THEM TO MAKE IT BATTERY POWERED (Faints)

Salazar: IM STILL ALIVE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Evil Fang: (aims and kills him) Asta la vista bitch. (goes back into poke ball)

Wesker: Well since Jill is the last person here she gets the money…..

Jill: YES OH YEA IM RICH RICH HAHAHAHA

Not yet you still have to answer the MOTHER OF ALL QUESTIONS

Jill: Fine ask me NOW

Wesker: ( Pulls out a box)

Box: NAME

Wesker: Shut up (opens the box and pulls out the question)………………………WHAT THE FUCK

JUST ASK THE DAMN THING

Wesker: Fine

Who is the arch nemesis of Samus Aran

A). Riley B). Mother brain

C). Metroid Prime D). A toaster

Jill: ummmmm ohh ehhh ahhh I CHOOSE

(Samus explodes killing Jill and destroying the entire set)

Wesker: Ahhh my head what happened…

Samus got out of her Varia suit and blew us all up

Wesker: oh my god….ITS OVERRRR OVER HAHAHAHA

Oh yea Wesker you'll still be the host during the sequel

Wesker: S..S…EQUEL WHAT SEQUEL

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE SUPER SMASH BROS. STYLE

Wesker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ( Runs away)

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA (disappears)

(A shadow can be seen on the visor of the varia suit)

Shadow: HEH HEH HEH HEH ILL EXTRACT MY REVENGE DURING THE SEQUEL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (Gets hit by a plane)

* * *

Disclamer: I OWN NADA and yes there will be a sequel...can anybody guess who the shadow is? 


End file.
